Dear, Future Life Partner.

I say life partner - instead of husband, lover, etc. - not because it has anything to do with gender. But, because that is what I hope for in a marriage. My real-life, legal BFF.

Typing the word marriage makes me a little nauseated, tbh. Also, BFF. 

Yeah, sure, ideally it will be the kind of can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other attraction, but that's an added value, I think. What it has to be is supportive. What it has to be is flexible, devoted, loyal, relentless. A steel bond of two people on the same team always working together to help each other.

So, as I go through my twenties and make a million dating mistakes, as EVERYONE has told me I will, (though I would rather just not date and skip that whole part, please?) I'm keeping things in mind that I do and don't want in my future life partner. I'm not saying that I'm holding every guy I meet up to a laundry list of "expectations." I just think it's good to keep what I want in mind.

Here goes.

The will and want to see the world. 
I love traveling. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck and I'm trying to plan a trip somewhere. I have a list of places I want to see and that list isn't going to get any shorter. I'll go by myself fearlessly, but I'd love to have someone I love to share it with. "She is too independent and wont care whether you travel with her or not."

Challenge me. Make me smarter.
I'm never going to stop wanting to learn. I think someone who can teach you is invaluable and someone to hold onto. I'm also going to need support when I want to try something new - because I will (just ask my mother). Never stop pushing me to be a smarter or better person.

Wit. Appreciation.
"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure." If you got that Harry Potter reference, you're probably fine for this one. A guy who is witty is way more attractive to me than so many other qualities. Wit = intelligence.

Next to wit, I really admire people with appreciation. That sound vague, but think about it. Appreciating the little things. Appreciation for food, art, a quiet night. Realizing how lucky you are. It's a pretty subjective definition, but absolutely recognizable.

Respect.
If you think what I like is silly, we should not be together. Think it's silly if you want, but never tell me it's dumb to believe in what I believe in or love what I love. If you do, remember that you're somewhere on that list. We are not going to love all of the same things and THANK GOD because if I married someone who loved to paint their nails and watch New Girl as much as I do, something would be seriously wrong. Do it for me and I'll [try to] do the same for you (I'm probably never going to love basketball, but it may grow on me).

[Side note] I recently read an article, written by a man/boy, about why he didn't want a girlfriend. One of his biggest reasons was that all of his friends were missing fun things (like sporting events) because their girlfriends were making them do things, like go shopping with them. I was so confused when I read that. Girls were willingly bringing their mopey boyfriend to the mall to do something he doesn't want to do? Girls were enjoying that? The guys weren't speaking up for themselves? I don't understand why you can't do your own thing and be okay for a few hours while the other person, like, LIVES THEIR LIFE.

Faith. 
Yes, ideally, I would like to find someone to help me in my own spiritual journey and someone that will make it easy to be rooted in and raise our family on the same values. But, I think you need to believe in something. It's hard for me to understand people that just respond with, "I don't know," instead of thinking about the big picture world around them. Always a complicated subject, but it doesn't have to be.

Space. 
We both need it. I think I may need it more. I need time to myself to recharge and do my own thing, just like you do. We have to love ourselves before we can love each other and without time independent from each other, we could lose sight of this.

The understanding that I really think jewelry is a cop out.
Unpopular opinion, I know. I'm not saying I don't like jewelry, I do. Buuuut -- I think guys buy girls jewelry because they don't know the girl well enough to get her what she really likes or wants. It's not about gifts, but be thoughtful and think about what the other person would really appreciate. (I feel the same way about flowers. If you truly know me, you'll know that I would MUCH rather have some chocolate.)

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As I'm going through life and dating, I'm figuring these things out. What I want. But more so what I don't want in a future life partner.

I have no idea who this person is, or if he even exists. Either way, I'm going to live my life the same and hope someone comes along to share some laughs with me.

To be continued...